You’ll do….

July 30, 2012

Over my years of singledom, I’ve come to realise that feelings of attraction are very much based on circumstance. This may come as no great surprise to some of you but it is a fact I find hard to contemplate. For instance, I can recall some guys two or three years ago who at the time I was convinced I was infatuated with but now looking back I couldn’t care less. Why is that?

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I can already hear the blissfully attached screaming ‘he obviously wasn’t the right one for you’ but is this really the case? I had a somewhat (drunken) debate one of my friends on this very topic a few months ago. I suggested that a good 50% of couples out there have decided to settle on the basis of convenient circumstance. Boy meets girl, or visa versa and boy and girl decide ‘this is alright’ and stick with it. Now let me make plain, I’m not suggesting they don’t grow to really like or dare I say it, love each other, but I do genuinely believe a lot of couples out there started off on a ‘you’ll do’ premise.

This is one of the reasons I believe I’m single. I don’t want a ‘you’ll do’ scenario. I want a ‘you’re amazing, I want to be with you’ scenario but strangely enough this is rather hard to find. However I noticed lately, I’m more open to falling into a ‘you’ll do’ way of thinking. I wonder is this me losing faith in my heighten sense of romance or is it realism final kicking me in the face? Is it possible for women to get passed their frivolous early twenties, find themselves single and think ‘screw it, you have a half decent brain/ face combo, you’ll do’? The worrying thing is some days I dread being this person and other days I want to be this person. I suppose the root of the anxiousness stems from the fact that I know in my heart of hearts I’ll never settle, therefore I have to face the fact that I may be that girl in her mid-thirties who is alone/ on dating websites still in search of the elusive fairy tale ending.

I veered slightly off point on the above rant. However, my current dilemma stems from the same sentiment. How can you be sure you actually really like a person/ fancy that person without that tiny niggling feeling that you’re in a head space that warrants this thought process? I have a category of guy who I jokingly name my ‘time filler’. These are guys who I date and/or text/ email but don’t really have any invested emotional ties to. One could argue I use the said guys and I suppose that would be right. Let’s be honest, life can be rather dull sometimes. It can be fun to have a flirt etc… knowing there will be no hurt or upset at the end of it all. However, one can only keep up this emotional charade for a while. I do have to admit it becomes draining after to realise you don’t genuinely fancy these ‘time fillers’ and you’re left feeling a bit flat and empty.

Then again, someone can come along who you do genuinely fancy and it is just as tiring trying to figure out if that person feels the same awful/ lovely feelings as you do….To sum up, it seems one way or the other I’m in a state a perpetual confusion.

Losers

July 24, 2012

I have neglected this little scribbling past time for a while but I’ve decided to make somewhat of a return mainly because I feel the need for the odd public emotional outburst now and again.

So you’ll be delighted to hear  the state of play in my relationship status has changed little since I posted last. Just a few more wasted (but still enjoyable) kisses and a few duds in between.

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A few months ago I mildly fooled myself into thinking I’d found someone who had potential i.e we had more than two things in common. I feel a bit foolish about this particular run-in because as it turns out he severely lacked that same enthusiasm that I had going on for that short period. I think his exact texting words were ‘I can’t appreciate a great girl like you’. That’s 2012 speak for ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.  One could say I was well and truly kicked to the curb.

This encounter has left me slightly worse for wear to be honest. A friend of mine suggested a few weeks back that although I pertain to be this confident in control person, perhaps underneath it all I am a delicate mess. I would beg to slightly differ on this accusation but in saying that I have to admit he may have a small point.

The job I work in is full of very strong, pretty, confident women. In this sea of vivacious talent, it is often difficult to remember who you are because you spend a large part of your time comparing yourself to the talents of others. In this environment it’s easy to forget why perhaps you are worth something to someone else be it in terms of their affections or anything else for that matter.

One of life’s cruelest realities that has been bestowed on me vividly in recent months is that more often than not competition is key in life. If you’re not up for the fight, be prepared to be crushed. I’ve never been good in competition scenarios. My Dad had a phrase he used repeatedly on my sister before primary school sports days which was to say our family never loses. My sister was an amazing athlete and it turned out she never really did lose sports day races so the phrase worked well in that sense.

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My determination always manifested itself in a more inwardly determined way. I never felt competitive towards others, only myself. Still to this day I will set my mind on something, fully commit to it and generally achieve what I set out to do. The only area of my life where I always seem to fall short in this determination is relationships. I never can quite hit the mark. This is yet another of life’s harsh realities which I find hard to grapple with.

Sometimes when people and scenarios are playing out and merging together and becoming the jumble that is life’s mess, I feel I need to stand still, take a breath and think all I can be is me. No amount of ‘our family never loses’ is going to change that fact so embrace it and move on. People don’t always win and sometimes that’s ok.

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A Dry Spell

November 20, 2011

I’m in the middle of what other singletons might describe as a ‘dry spell’.  This so called dry spell has been brought on for  number of reasons. The first is one that happens now and again. It’s usually provoked by me meeting a guy, quite liking him and thinking ‘Hmm… could this actually be a thing’, and then invariably he departs, leaving me in a deep  state self contemplation.

This scenario played out rather recently when the said guy departed on claims of  a busy work schedule. People who know me will tell you that I don’t exactly have a quiet work schedule  so the fact that was used as an excuse felt rather lame to me. I spent a while grappling with the fact which led me into dry spell phase one.

That self contemplation phase lasted for much of October, which was coupled with a huge spike in workload so even if I wanted to go out and mingle again, I really didn’t have the time or the energy.

November has seen me turn a corner in the fact that I am once again mingling with the opposite sex. However, this doesn’t mean that it has been successful transition. I think my exploits last night is a good case in point to illustrate this.

I spent a lovely day with one of my oldest friends, musing (as we always do) on why we are both single. Generally we had a nice time massaging eachother’s egos, him talking about his ex-boyfriends/ conquests of recent times and me delving into the psychology of my dry spell.

We concluded that we’d go to a house party that night. I did suspect that a large majority of the men at the party would be gay and it turns out I was right. The only straight guy there was a guy I previously went out with for four years so needless to say that was a no go area.

After mingling for a short time, I decided to leave in the hopes of finding men who would not be interested in asking where I got my skirt or my hair care preferences (Don’t get me wrong I ordinarily love talking about these things but last night I was not in that kind of mood)

I headed with another group of friends to the Twisted Pepper where to my absolute dismay, the queue to get in was horrifically long. I’m not the most patient person in the world so I don’t really work well with queues. Having stood around for about 15 mins I decided to move on to yet another group of friends in the Stags Head. I’m happy to say I did get in there and having enjoyed a lively Irish trad set (the group had visitors over from England so we were doing the whole diddley ay music thing) we went to The Globe.

I must say, The Globe has always been a place where I find it very easy to talk to guys. However, I realised last night, every guy I’ve ever spoken to in that particular pub has turned out to to be non runner. Last night was no different sadly. After much pushing and shoving in the main bar, our group eventually got a couch in the back area beside this big group of lads. I got talking to one sitting nearest me. He seemed like a really nice guy, though I did find myself pointing out when I was being sarcastic as I was not altogether sure he got my humour. The conversation seemed to be taking a positive turn until the point where he asked me what height I was. We had both been sitting down for the duration of the conversation so we didn’t have the full measure of one another. I thought it a bit of an odd question for a guy to ask but I told him I was about 5,7′ in flats. I did have heels on so I reckon I looked about 5,9′. To this reply, it was like a shutter went down on our conversation. He excused himself to the toilet and upon his return I ran into him on the way to the bar. It was at this point I noticed I was slightly taller than him in heels, but I must stress only slightly. However, he instantly pointed the height difference out in a way that definitely signaled the end to our conversation. I was rather annoyed at this as I had wasted a good 4o mins talking the usual first time chatting nonsense to a guy who clearly had small man syndrome.

I went back to my group and we left shortly after. On my walk home I ran into some work colleagues who were out after an event. I got chatting to this lovely English guy who was working with them on the project. He was quite intense but in a sweet way. We went back to a house party and as the conversation progressed it dawned on me that he was definitely a good bit younger than me. Turns out he was 22. This instantly put me off. I’ve made up my mind that no matter what, I want to meet guys who are older than me. In general, I get on far better with them. Guys my age and younger, as much as I have a great laugh with them, I never really fully connect with them. To this end, the English guy was a no go area. However, we had chatted for a long time at this stage and it was clear he thought the evening was going a certain way.

By way of trying to escape, I somehow got myself into the situation of promising to go to the Guinness Storehouse with him the following day. Being honest, I had no intention of ever going but I couldn’t exactly say, ‘listening mate, your age freaks me out so hit the road’. The fact that I said I’d go seemed to appease him and I made my exit. This morning I awoke to an even worse cold than I had in previous days and a feeling of dread as I remembered I said I’d go to a tourist attraction with a person who I was in no way attracted to. I plucked up the courage to text him and use my sickness as an excuse for not going. In fairness to the lovely guy, he text me back a very humourous message that made me think, although he may not be the guy for me (due to my awful agism), he certainly will make some girl very happy, as he is very sweet and decent.

So I suppose in some ways you could argue my dry spell is over. However, last night left me feeling rather flat. As I said to my good friend in our day long conversation on life, I’m eternally in search of the big romance that never really materialises. This weekend the barriers were height and age. I wonder what the delights of next weekend will bring?

Summer Season

October 9, 2011

Here I am back from my seasonal sabbatical from the blog. A mixture of work commitments, general lack of time and bloggers block left me a bit at sea when it came to posting. However, the winter months seem to bring out the writer in me so here I am again.

So what dating delights, or more aptly disasters, did the summer bring I hear you ask. Well, a few actually. It was a strange time. Dublin has become quite a different place for me over the last few months. As I mentioned in my last post, many of my friends have left for other shores. It’s been an odd period of adjustment. Most of the people closest in my life are no longer here. I’ve had to adapt my social life in tune with these changes. It’s an odd process which is still going on and being honest it can be tough.

Men wise, Dublin is still offering the gems I’ve come to know and not love as the case may be. A mixture of festivals, house parties and general ‘let’s set Julie up’ threw me into random meetings/ drinks/ dinners.

These are some of the nuggets of wisdom I’ve come away with from my summer rendezvous:

1. I can’t (no matter how hard I try) make myself fancy someone

2.I don’t like posh dinner dates

3. Timing is a bitch

4. Kissing in a two man tent is difficult

5.My weakness for musicians/ writers is alive and well

6. I’m not settling for something casual

7.I hate texting power plays

8.If guys are interested, they will put in effort.If they are not, they won’t. No amount of excuses will change that fact

9. Chivalry is not dead. It just hides in funny places sometimes

10.I’m not giving up on the Big Romance

Rather than going into in depth descriptions of each of the guys I met this summer,  I will surmise. There was an unsuccessful set up (lovely guy, just not my cup of tea. My work colleague responsible for the date was more devastated than me), the party encounter with subsequent dates (this one is still a mystery, really handsome guy but I just wasn’t feeling it. It petered out after a while. Probably should have given it more of a chance in hindsight) and the musician (this one hurt a bit, and is still in the raw stages. Note to self: ‘shut up and get over it already. There’s plenty more moderately successful musicians in this town’)

I know this isn’t like my usual posts which are normally of epic proportion but there will be plenty of that to come (hopefully!). Here’s to autumnal heart break…!

Is it wrong to openly admit you are lonely? This is something I have been asking myself the last few weeks.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, most people who know me will probably tell you that I’m a very independent person in the sense that I lead a seemingly fulfilled life. I have lots of friends, I live in a nice house and I have a good job. For a good number of years now I have been highly aware of my good fortune and enjoyed all the benefits this particular lifestyle brought me.

However, these days I find myself hitting a wall. I’m generally a very self-reflective person anyway but I notice I’m beginning to question particulars in my life even more than usual. This reflection covers all areas of my life from the type of personality I have developed to the reasons I’m single. I look at every aspect of my life and think ‘is this who I am or is this who I want to be’.

This bout of deep reflection is lingering within me for several reasons. Many of my close friends are leaving or have left Ireland. Without sounding very cliche many of these friends are, for all intensive purposes, my family. Family with me is an odd thing in the sense that I come from one that would be termed ‘broken’. I’m very close to my little sister but aside from her, my friends are my guiding light. With many of them now heading for the bright lights of New York, the sunnier shores of Australia and New Zealand and the calming climate of Cambodia, I am left somewhat alone and slightly at sea.

This is the first time in three years I will readily admit, I am lonely. It is the first time I will openly say, I do in fact want a significant other to call ‘my boyfriend’. I do recognise this is heavily rooted in the fact that a lot of people close to me are leaving but there is somewhat more to it.

I’ve reached the stage where I’m tired of the whole going out, talking to a guy, possibly kissing him, perhaps texting him, maybe dating him for a while and then one or both of us decide it’s not worth the hassle.

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to really fancy someone to the point that you want to be around them all the time. I want that feeling again. Herein lies the problem. I’m slightly worried in my ability to actually find this person. I have been single for a significant length of time at this stage. During my self-reflecting, I wonder what it is that is holding me back from meeting someone who I want to be with.

Being honest, I feel it is a combination of things. I think I’m too willing to write someone off for what many would consider a minor dating blunder or annoying personality trait. I’m too set on finding this overwhelming romance when in reality it takes time to build something like this. I also am beginning to learn that the standard I have set in my head of the type of guy I’d like to be with almost certainly does not exist.

So the question is, what is to be done in this situation? Well, I’ve decided I’m going to adopt a new attitude. When I meet someone new no longer will I call upon the imaginary guy in my head who tells me to write off the guy in front of me. I will stop looking for the perfect romance. Sadly it seems life is not always that rosey (although every Disney and Julia Roberts film ever made tell little girls a different story).

Although this may not be an instant cure to the odd loneliness I’m currently experiencing, hopefully a change in attitude may open my eyes to opportunities that may be staring me straight in the face.

Memory Playlist

May 2, 2011

Looking back through all my posts recently I’ve noticed I never really touched on the subject of music. ‘What has music got to do with a blog about relationships’ I hear you inquire. Well to me it has a lot to do with relationships. I tend to always associate people, experiences and memories with music. I’ll be walking along listening to my iPod and I’ll hear a song and think I was listening to this with that person or I was dancing to this when I saw that person.

Music is one of my obsessions in life. From the outset I want to make it plain I am not what one may term a ‘music snob’. I tune into X Factor as much as the next person. I love anything from Rhianna’s ‘Umbrella’ and Timberland ‘The Way I Are (J1 summer favourites) to Handel’s Ombra Mai Fu (classical song I sang in school).

Most of the songs I become fanatical about have a personal meaning to me.  There are fleeting song obsessions that tend to last a few weeks but there are some music pieces that stick out in my mind because they usually trigger off memories of really great (or really awful) times. I’ll highlight a few of the more relationship related ones here and give a bit of a memory background.

One of my earliest musical memories is of Kylie Minogue. I was obsessed with Kylie and Neighbours. My Mam informs me that I used to sit glued to the TV and was utterly delighted when Kylie and Jason Donovan finally got together. This perhaps was the beginning of my unrealistic relationship expectations! This was one of my favourite Kylie tunes. I spent many a day dressed in one of my Mam’s polka dot 80’s dresses dancing around the room to this imagining I would marry Jason one day (sad but true!)

My first proper crush song was (like lots of girls of my vintage) No Doubt Don’t Speak. Still to this day, I love this song. I remember having a serious school girl crush on a guy from my primary school class. The main reason I fancied him was because he was very good looking for an 11 year old and everyone else fancied him too. It didn’t really matter to me that we didn’t really speak much or that he wasn’t remotely interested in me! I tortured myself for weeks before finally it became too much when my best friend started ‘going out’ with him. Utter devastation ensued and I spent hours listening to this song on repeat. Oh to be a pre-teen angst filled girl again!!

My first proper romance (one which I spoke about in my first post a few months back) was again every bit the teenage drama filled encounter. As I mentioned previously, I really fancied this particular guy. He was the so called ‘popular’ guy in school at the time. I wasn’t exactly the cheerleader to his jock status but for some unknown reason he apparently quite liked me too. We started a very awkward boyfriend/ girlfriend scenario which didn’t last all that long. I was coming into my singer/song writer phase so Damien Rice was always going to rear his solemn head!

I remember the first time I heard Blower’s Daughter, I was in the country with my Mam on a really hot summers day. The ‘popular’ guy who I was seeing had left Ireland for a extended family trip to France and I was very upset by the fact that I hadn’t heard from him. I had bought a guitar compilation which featured Blower’s Daughter. I loved the arrangement of music and the words to the song of course seemed to reflect my situation (doesn’t every love song when you’re depressed!) I never did rekindle my relationship with the popular guy when he returned from France but I do always associate that song with the summer he was not around.

When hearing this next song, it reminds of a really happy time. I was 16, in transition year and thought I was an adult who had the world sussed. I had a great bunch of friends (many of whom I am still friends with to this day) and I met the person who was to be my first love. The song,by Mic Christopher, is appropriately named Heyday.

All unpleasant breakups always have a soundtrack and mine was no different. After my three year relationship ended I had a multitude of painful songs which I called upon on a regular basis. I’m not going to bore you with all the tearful tunes but I will include this one because I think it’s a song of recovery more than a song of loss. When I listen to this song, I think of a time when I finally began to let go of a relationship that was over and began to move on: Jeff Buckley, Last Goodbye (please excuse the VERY old school video)

My more recent musical memories revolve around happier times. I was reminded of an encounter by my friend the other day that had totally slipped my mind. I was at a house party about 2 years ago. I was with some of my college friends who hang around a multitude of good looking guys. I had noticed a guy throughout the night at the party. He was very indie-esque in comparison to many of the law student types that were at the party. I eventually got talking to him and had such a laugh. We talked for ages and got on great. It’s been a while since I’ve met someone who I laughed that much with when first meeting them. I vividly remember the two of us kissing to this tune and now every time I hear it I think of him. I never heard from him as it emerged he was seeing someone at the time (delightful I know) but it’s still is a nice memory. Kings of Leon, Slow Night, So Long.

This next song is one of my current obsessions. I love most of Feist’s songs anyway but I think the words to this are very powerful and cover various topics which spring to my mind when it comes to my current relationship encounters. I’m of the opinion that intuition is really important when trying to build/ embark on a relationship with someone. Intuition is the thing that points you in the direction of logic and over-rules the voice that may be telling you to embark on something that is ultimately a waste of time. Intuition is also the thing that lets you know when you are on to a good thing (or not as the case may be) and aptly enough this song is called Intuition.

Boating Tales

April 27, 2011

Apologies for the delay in writing a new post. The Easter weekend proved rather busy and it’s only now that I’m getting around to posting something.

Yesterday I headed off down to Cavan with a good friend of mine to jump aboard a boat on the Shannon. I didn’t know anyone on the boat apart from my friend who I went down with and a guy who I know through mutual friends. This guy has featured on the blog before Christmas. He was the ‘Bewildered One’ I referred to at the time.

As I mentioned in that post, although myself and this guy had a mild romantic dalliance, it never really progressed to anything significant. This was probably was a blessing in disguise as he is someone women would term as ‘a head-wrecker’ when it comes to all things commitment related. Getting overly involved with a guy of this kind would not have served my emotional well-being in positive way at all.

That said, I still do genuinely get on with the guy and we are friends. There is something endearing about his odd ideas on relationships and romance. We have extremely polar opposite views on many topics which fall under these headings so it makes for some good conversations.

However, I had heard of late that the uncrackable relationship man, perhaps is more crackable than was first thought. I was intrigued to hear that there had been a constant lady in his life these days that could well last longer than the many ladies that had come before her.

I was fascinated to see who this hero of a lady was that had tamed the untamable. Being honest, it always intrigues me when so called ‘commitment phoebes’ finally meet someone who makes them see relationships in a new light. In conversations with this particular guy, it always annoyed me that he was always so blasé about the idea of love.

He flitted from one girl to the next as if they were a type of breakfast cereal that took his fancy that particular day (I was Cocopops, sweet but not something you could have on a regular basis) He never seemed to really  fancy any of the many ladies he would be ‘seeing’. By fancy, I mean that feeling that goes beyond sexual attraction. The feeling that makes you want to call someone, even if you have just spoken to them an hour ago or that feeling that no one else in the room is better than the person sitting right in front of you. According to this boat guy, he had never fully felt this for any girl which I find odd and kind of sad.

For this reason (as well as my own nosiness), I wanted to meet this girl who had made this boat guy see the light. Usually when you build pictures of people in your head, they never really match up to the reality. However, in this case this particular lady did. She was pretty in a very effortless way but also a bit of a tomboy. She seemed perfectly content in the company of seven guys on her own and they were all a really close bunch of friends.

What was more interesting was to see how the boat guy and herself interacted with one another. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the most overtly romantic interaction I’ve ever seen. However, that’s not to say one couldn’t see they got on very well. I was really surprised to see how attentive boat guy was with her (usually commitment phoebes don’t tend to like this type interaction!). They seem to have a very deep rooted friendship which makes their conversing really comfortable.

What is odd about the situation is that although the boat guy will fully admit that out of all the ladies he has been with down through the years, she is the one who he would readily abandon single life for, he has still not taken the plunge and asked her out yet. One has to ask the question, is this guy cutting off his nose to spite his face? Why, although he will admit this girl is who he wants to be with, is he not willing to make it official?

I hate to harp back to the male commitment phoebe cliche but it seems it is still alive and well among some of our male counterparts. What I find sad is that I fear the boat guy may well drive this lady (who he has yearned after for years may I add) away because he is afraid of feeling trapped or some other such nonsense.

In my mind, if you find someone you feel a strong connection with (and not just in a casual sex kind of way), you should grab on to that opportunity and not let it pass you by. It’s hard enough to meet someone in this world, without letting fears and over-thinking take away from the fact that you genuinely like someone. Sometimes you have to stop the game playing and recognise a genuinely good thing when it is in front of you.

Missed Opportunity

April 17, 2011

This weekend was a blur of birthday celebrations. It’s my twenty-fifth birthday next Wednesday but as many people would be away for Easter weekend, I thought I’d celebrate it this weekend.

I headed out with my work colleagues on Friday night for dinner and drinks after. It was one of those great nights where everyone is in brilliant humour and up for a laugh. As nights like this usually go, people gradually began to drop away from the group as the night wore on.

By the end of the evening, myself and another two work colleagues left. The bar we were in was beginning to wind down and I was getting ready to leave. I had noticed a guy at the bar earlier in the night. He stood out a lot as he was really good-looking. As I was leaving the bar I got chatting to him. The bouncers were asking people to leave so we made our way outside. We were making the usual small talk only for about 15 mins when he mentioned he used to play football for a well known team in England.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you I do not have a clue about anything soccer or indeed sport related. My feigning interest was obviously not enough make him think I was impressed because he decided to whip out his iPhone and wikipedia himself in front of me.

At this stage of the night I was on the ‘brutal honesty’ buzz of drunkenness. I informed the guy that he really didn’t need to produce online evidence to prove to me that he played for a football team. I went on to say that I would have been more impressed if he didn’t mention it at all and then dropped it into conversation after we had had a conversation longer than 15mins. The presence of the iPhone evidence really put me off. He was a really nice guy. He didn’t need to prove his worth on wikipedia.

After I finished my rant, I was pretty sure he’d think I was not the most appealing person in the world and head for the hills. Instead he burst out laughing and asked me was I always that brutally honest.

A group of us headed back to my house and he came along. In my drunken logic head, I had totally written this guy off from the wikipedia moment. Even when he was in my house, I was totally disinterested. Again, he was very pleasant and got on really well with everyone. What was not to like? Sadly, this blogger was ignorant to these facts in the dawning hours and just wanted her bed.

The night resulted in him briefly trying it on and me declining, claiming horrific tiredness as an excuse. Everyone eventually disbursed from the house at about 7am and I got my much sought after sleep.

However, I woke up a few hours later and thought ‘You idiot. A very nice, good-looking, talented guy was interested in you and you could not have acted more uncaring’. I called into my friends house and explained the story. They confirmed the fact that I was indeed an idiot. They did concede that the wikipedia thing was odd but at the same time they pointed out he had more than proved himself in the subsequent hours.

This leaves me pondering the question, why did I sabotage myself in this way? I hate to admit it, but I can see a pattern emerging. I’m often very quick to write guys off. They do something that I find mildly irritating and that’s it, I’m no longer interested. Although the wikipedia searching could have been considered a little conceited, I should have given they guy the benefit of the doubt. Instead, I acted like an uncaring, nonchalant lady who gave the impression I couldn’t care less if he was interested or not.

I could easily see the guy again as he works in the same company as one of my friends. I have a strange feeling the moment has passed with this particular person but for the future, I think I need to reassess how I view potential guys and not be so quick to write someone off.

I awoke to a beautiful sunny morning last Saturday in a great mood. After all, I had a whole two days of lovely laziness ahead of me. What was not to be happy about?

I hadn’t checked my emails all week as I had been really busy in work. As I began trawling through them I noticed I had a comment notification from WordPress. This is the comment that greeted me:

Hi “blogger”.

You’re being a douche. why don’t you get a boyfriend. Actually no you probably just need the ride. Let’s call a spade a desperate girl.

Why were you going to parties where you may be groped by 20 year olds? Also how did you let him close enough to let him “mildly grope” you?

Get a grip!

Please be aware you are not obliged to go out with couples. They re not obliged to entertain you.

Very silly blog here in all honesty

As you can imagine, I was somewhat shocked by the severity of sentiment conveyed in the comment. It served to dampen my sunny day somewhat.

I toyed with the idea of not addressing it at all but that said, if I’m allowed write a blog, surely this commenter (who graciously took the time to create an email just for the purposes of this post ‘thisblogisshit@gmail.com) deserves some of my dutiful attention

So here you have it Ms/Mr ThisBlogIsShit, a whole post all to yourself. I’m not going to analyse what was said in the comment because I think I can leave it up to the reader to make up their own minds as to whether I ‘need the ride’ or if I am akin to a desperate spade (that is genius literary manipulation by the way). I may possibly even be a douche, who knows….!

Keep the delightful comments rolling 🙂

**I did send a personal email to Mr/Ms ThisBlogIsShit but they have yet to respond.

For some reason this week I’m feeling really out of sorts. Perhaps this is due to various calamities which befell me. These calamities included my phone being robbed, serious stress in work and the realisation that yet more of my really close friends are soon to leave the country.

Rather than write a full post (which will inevitably be angst filled due to my mood), I’m going to form a ‘photo sentence’. Hopefully I’ll return with a sunnier disposition next week.

 

When I am:

I would love someone to give me:

and say: