April 27, 2011
Apologies for the delay in writing a new post. The Easter weekend proved rather busy and it’s only now that I’m getting around to posting something.
Yesterday I headed off down to Cavan with a good friend of mine to jump aboard a boat on the Shannon. I didn’t know anyone on the boat apart from my friend who I went down with and a guy who I know through mutual friends. This guy has featured on the blog before Christmas. He was the ‘Bewildered One’ I referred to at the time.
As I mentioned in that post, although myself and this guy had a mild romantic dalliance, it never really progressed to anything significant. This was probably was a blessing in disguise as he is someone women would term as ‘a head-wrecker’ when it comes to all things commitment related. Getting overly involved with a guy of this kind would not have served my emotional well-being in positive way at all.
That said, I still do genuinely get on with the guy and we are friends. There is something endearing about his odd ideas on relationships and romance. We have extremely polar opposite views on many topics which fall under these headings so it makes for some good conversations.
However, I had heard of late that the uncrackable relationship man, perhaps is more crackable than was first thought. I was intrigued to hear that there had been a constant lady in his life these days that could well last longer than the many ladies that had come before her.
I was fascinated to see who this hero of a lady was that had tamed the untamable. Being honest, it always intrigues me when so called ‘commitment phoebes’ finally meet someone who makes them see relationships in a new light. In conversations with this particular guy, it always annoyed me that he was always so blasé about the idea of love.
He flitted from one girl to the next as if they were a type of breakfast cereal that took his fancy that particular day (I was Cocopops, sweet but not something you could have on a regular basis) He never seemed to really fancy any of the many ladies he would be ‘seeing’. By fancy, I mean that feeling that goes beyond sexual attraction. The feeling that makes you want to call someone, even if you have just spoken to them an hour ago or that feeling that no one else in the room is better than the person sitting right in front of you. According to this boat guy, he had never fully felt this for any girl which I find odd and kind of sad.
For this reason (as well as my own nosiness), I wanted to meet this girl who had made this boat guy see the light. Usually when you build pictures of people in your head, they never really match up to the reality. However, in this case this particular lady did. She was pretty in a very effortless way but also a bit of a tomboy. She seemed perfectly content in the company of seven guys on her own and they were all a really close bunch of friends.
What was more interesting was to see how the boat guy and herself interacted with one another. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the most overtly romantic interaction I’ve ever seen. However, that’s not to say one couldn’t see they got on very well. I was really surprised to see how attentive boat guy was with her (usually commitment phoebes don’t tend to like this type interaction!). They seem to have a very deep rooted friendship which makes their conversing really comfortable.
What is odd about the situation is that although the boat guy will fully admit that out of all the ladies he has been with down through the years, she is the one who he would readily abandon single life for, he has still not taken the plunge and asked her out yet. One has to ask the question, is this guy cutting off his nose to spite his face? Why, although he will admit this girl is who he wants to be with, is he not willing to make it official?
I hate to harp back to the male commitment phoebe cliche but it seems it is still alive and well among some of our male counterparts. What I find sad is that I fear the boat guy may well drive this lady (who he has yearned after for years may I add) away because he is afraid of feeling trapped or some other such nonsense.
In my mind, if you find someone you feel a strong connection with (and not just in a casual sex kind of way), you should grab on to that opportunity and not let it pass you by. It’s hard enough to meet someone in this world, without letting fears and over-thinking take away from the fact that you genuinely like someone. Sometimes you have to stop the game playing and recognise a genuinely good thing when it is in front of you.