Boating Tales

April 27, 2011

Apologies for the delay in writing a new post. The Easter weekend proved rather busy and it’s only now that I’m getting around to posting something.

Yesterday I headed off down to Cavan with a good friend of mine to jump aboard a boat on the Shannon. I didn’t know anyone on the boat apart from my friend who I went down with and a guy who I know through mutual friends. This guy has featured on the blog before Christmas. He was the ‘Bewildered One’ I referred to at the time.

As I mentioned in that post, although myself and this guy had a mild romantic dalliance, it never really progressed to anything significant. This was probably was a blessing in disguise as he is someone women would term as ‘a head-wrecker’ when it comes to all things commitment related. Getting overly involved with a guy of this kind would not have served my emotional well-being in positive way at all.

That said, I still do genuinely get on with the guy and we are friends. There is something endearing about his odd ideas on relationships and romance. We have extremely polar opposite views on many topics which fall under these headings so it makes for some good conversations.

However, I had heard of late that the uncrackable relationship man, perhaps is more crackable than was first thought. I was intrigued to hear that there had been a constant lady in his life these days that could well last longer than the many ladies that had come before her.

I was fascinated to see who this hero of a lady was that had tamed the untamable. Being honest, it always intrigues me when so called ‘commitment phoebes’ finally meet someone who makes them see relationships in a new light. In conversations with this particular guy, it always annoyed me that he was always so blasé about the idea of love.

He flitted from one girl to the next as if they were a type of breakfast cereal that took his fancy that particular day (I was Cocopops, sweet but not something you could have on a regular basis) He never seemed to really  fancy any of the many ladies he would be ‘seeing’. By fancy, I mean that feeling that goes beyond sexual attraction. The feeling that makes you want to call someone, even if you have just spoken to them an hour ago or that feeling that no one else in the room is better than the person sitting right in front of you. According to this boat guy, he had never fully felt this for any girl which I find odd and kind of sad.

For this reason (as well as my own nosiness), I wanted to meet this girl who had made this boat guy see the light. Usually when you build pictures of people in your head, they never really match up to the reality. However, in this case this particular lady did. She was pretty in a very effortless way but also a bit of a tomboy. She seemed perfectly content in the company of seven guys on her own and they were all a really close bunch of friends.

What was more interesting was to see how the boat guy and herself interacted with one another. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the most overtly romantic interaction I’ve ever seen. However, that’s not to say one couldn’t see they got on very well. I was really surprised to see how attentive boat guy was with her (usually commitment phoebes don’t tend to like this type interaction!). They seem to have a very deep rooted friendship which makes their conversing really comfortable.

What is odd about the situation is that although the boat guy will fully admit that out of all the ladies he has been with down through the years, she is the one who he would readily abandon single life for, he has still not taken the plunge and asked her out yet. One has to ask the question, is this guy cutting off his nose to spite his face? Why, although he will admit this girl is who he wants to be with, is he not willing to make it official?

I hate to harp back to the male commitment phoebe cliche but it seems it is still alive and well among some of our male counterparts. What I find sad is that I fear the boat guy may well drive this lady (who he has yearned after for years may I add) away because he is afraid of feeling trapped or some other such nonsense.

In my mind, if you find someone you feel a strong connection with (and not just in a casual sex kind of way), you should grab on to that opportunity and not let it pass you by. It’s hard enough to meet someone in this world, without letting fears and over-thinking take away from the fact that you genuinely like someone. Sometimes you have to stop the game playing and recognise a genuinely good thing when it is in front of you.

Missed Opportunity

April 17, 2011

This weekend was a blur of birthday celebrations. It’s my twenty-fifth birthday next Wednesday but as many people would be away for Easter weekend, I thought I’d celebrate it this weekend.

I headed out with my work colleagues on Friday night for dinner and drinks after. It was one of those great nights where everyone is in brilliant humour and up for a laugh. As nights like this usually go, people gradually began to drop away from the group as the night wore on.

By the end of the evening, myself and another two work colleagues left. The bar we were in was beginning to wind down and I was getting ready to leave. I had noticed a guy at the bar earlier in the night. He stood out a lot as he was really good-looking. As I was leaving the bar I got chatting to him. The bouncers were asking people to leave so we made our way outside. We were making the usual small talk only for about 15 mins when he mentioned he used to play football for a well known team in England.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you I do not have a clue about anything soccer or indeed sport related. My feigning interest was obviously not enough make him think I was impressed because he decided to whip out his iPhone and wikipedia himself in front of me.

At this stage of the night I was on the ‘brutal honesty’ buzz of drunkenness. I informed the guy that he really didn’t need to produce online evidence to prove to me that he played for a football team. I went on to say that I would have been more impressed if he didn’t mention it at all and then dropped it into conversation after we had had a conversation longer than 15mins. The presence of the iPhone evidence really put me off. He was a really nice guy. He didn’t need to prove his worth on wikipedia.

After I finished my rant, I was pretty sure he’d think I was not the most appealing person in the world and head for the hills. Instead he burst out laughing and asked me was I always that brutally honest.

A group of us headed back to my house and he came along. In my drunken logic head, I had totally written this guy off from the wikipedia moment. Even when he was in my house, I was totally disinterested. Again, he was very pleasant and got on really well with everyone. What was not to like? Sadly, this blogger was ignorant to these facts in the dawning hours and just wanted her bed.

The night resulted in him briefly trying it on and me declining, claiming horrific tiredness as an excuse. Everyone eventually disbursed from the house at about 7am and I got my much sought after sleep.

However, I woke up a few hours later and thought ‘You idiot. A very nice, good-looking, talented guy was interested in you and you could not have acted more uncaring’. I called into my friends house and explained the story. They confirmed the fact that I was indeed an idiot. They did concede that the wikipedia thing was odd but at the same time they pointed out he had more than proved himself in the subsequent hours.

This leaves me pondering the question, why did I sabotage myself in this way? I hate to admit it, but I can see a pattern emerging. I’m often very quick to write guys off. They do something that I find mildly irritating and that’s it, I’m no longer interested. Although the wikipedia searching could have been considered a little conceited, I should have given they guy the benefit of the doubt. Instead, I acted like an uncaring, nonchalant lady who gave the impression I couldn’t care less if he was interested or not.

I could easily see the guy again as he works in the same company as one of my friends. I have a strange feeling the moment has passed with this particular person but for the future, I think I need to reassess how I view potential guys and not be so quick to write someone off.

I awoke to a beautiful sunny morning last Saturday in a great mood. After all, I had a whole two days of lovely laziness ahead of me. What was not to be happy about?

I hadn’t checked my emails all week as I had been really busy in work. As I began trawling through them I noticed I had a comment notification from WordPress. This is the comment that greeted me:

Hi “blogger”.

You’re being a douche. why don’t you get a boyfriend. Actually no you probably just need the ride. Let’s call a spade a desperate girl.

Why were you going to parties where you may be groped by 20 year olds? Also how did you let him close enough to let him “mildly grope” you?

Get a grip!

Please be aware you are not obliged to go out with couples. They re not obliged to entertain you.

Very silly blog here in all honesty

As you can imagine, I was somewhat shocked by the severity of sentiment conveyed in the comment. It served to dampen my sunny day somewhat.

I toyed with the idea of not addressing it at all but that said, if I’m allowed write a blog, surely this commenter (who graciously took the time to create an email just for the purposes of this post ‘thisblogisshit@gmail.com) deserves some of my dutiful attention

So here you have it Ms/Mr ThisBlogIsShit, a whole post all to yourself. I’m not going to analyse what was said in the comment because I think I can leave it up to the reader to make up their own minds as to whether I ‘need the ride’ or if I am akin to a desperate spade (that is genius literary manipulation by the way). I may possibly even be a douche, who knows….!

Keep the delightful comments rolling 🙂

**I did send a personal email to Mr/Ms ThisBlogIsShit but they have yet to respond.