You Win Some, You Lose Some

February 13, 2011

This week’s blog post is a difficult one to compose. When writing, I’m always conscious I don’t want to be that girl who moans about how inconsiderate and unfeeling men are. However there are times when it is almost impossible not to think this.

As my last blog post mentioned, I went out on a date with a guy who maybe was not the love of my life but he was someone I had an enjoyable night with and would have been interested in seeing him again.

Before I launch into my bitter diatribe, I should mention that I would like to think I have very good intuition. Be it with friends or guys, I could (or so I thought) read a situation rather well. This week this talent has proven rather questionable.

So as I mentioned, my date last week went well. There wasn’t a huge spark between us but we had a laugh. I would have been willing to see the guy again if the opportunity arose. As I thought we had got on ok, I sent him a text during the week referring to something we had talked about on the date.

This text was met with blanket silence. BLANKET SILENCE. Now, it may just be me but I would think that at age 30 (which this guy was) you have been round the mill enough times to know that although you may not be into the person who is texting you, it would be nice to have the common courtesy to text back and gently break this fact. But no, sadly this 30 year old did not have the mannerly where with all to send a brief to the point text of that nature.

This situation raises several questions in my mind. The first is, how could I have misread the situation that much? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I thought I’d found my future husband or soulmate. It was more I thought ‘that was a laugh, I’ll probably see him again’. But apparently I was alone in thinking this.

Secondly, how can guys be so incredibly rude? This is one thing I can not abide when it comes to meeting new people. I really don’t mind if they’re not that interested but have the common courtesy to allude to that fact when you interact with me. I can only put this trait down to a spinelessness that some men seem to be afflicted with. If someone can’t be upfront and polite I lose patience very quickly.

The last issue which is a slightly harder one to grapple with, is why I was not interesting/charming enough for this guy? Obviously the hope after a first date is that someone finds your company good enough to make them want to see you again. In my case this didn’t happen. Overall I would say I am a very confident person but incidents like this do unnerve me somewhat.

It is very easy to look at this situation and think what’s the point? Why do we bother going on random dates if we come away feeling bad about ourselves? Well, being honest when stuff like this arises, I do feel deflated by it. However, I do possess this weird eternal optimism that one day it will work out. I genuinely believe there is someone out there that I will fall head over heels for and they will feel the same back.

Incidents of rudeness/ rejection which I just described are all part of the journey. I think you need to experience these lows to make that high when you finally meet someone all the more special. I’m not going to say rejection or blanket silence is easy to accept, it’s not. However, I think it’s important to remember you can’t win everyone all of the time. Sometimes you gel with someone, sometimes you don’t. It’s not something you can take too personally, it’s just all part of the experience.


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