The Single Collective

January 16, 2011

These days I’m finding more and more that I am becoming a lone single person in a sea of couples. I’d be lying if I said at times I don’t find this difficult.

Whether we like to admit it or not, your social life changes when you are part of a couple. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just different. Friday nights may be spent going to the cinema or going for a dinner and a chat. Most couples probably don’t relish the idea of heading out with their single friends on a drink fueled man search.

As a single person,I find it’s always important to have friends who are still on the same page as regards relationship status. If anything, it helps you remember you are not the only unattached one out there.I had several nights out recently with some single acquaintances.

Over the Christmas myself and my sister went out with a few of my friends. My sister and I don’t go out together all that often. We are very close but we have extremely different tastes in things.

I should probably preface this passage by mentioning that my sister is very beautiful. This beauty has a shocking affect on men that meet her, which is quite extraordinary. Strangely, she too is single (maybe it’s a family thing). Anyway, we decided to go on a night out together. This was under the agreement that we go to places that I frequent rather than her usual haunts of Dublin which involve various clubs in the Leeson/ Harcourt street area.

I studied Anthropology as part of my under-graduate degree and this night out with my sister would have provided me with thesis worthy material. From the second we arrived to the bar, men poured over like moths to a flame. I gradually began to feel like I was the publicist to some kind of leading femme fatal like Angelina Jolie.  I reckon I could have been standing topless beside my sister and would have only garnered mild stares in comparison. You see the thing is, my sister is not only very attractive, she has an excellent charm about her when speaking to men. She has a way of totally undermining what the say but in a very charming fashion. She rips apart everything the say to her with ease and great humor. It’s amazing how well men take brutal slagging from a good looking lady. She could call them fat to their faces and they wouldn’t care.

My favorite part of the night came when we were in the smoking area having a chat. This weedy looking 19 year old approaches my sister, which I thought was rather commendable. He introduced himself as a guy who was two years below her in our secondary school. He said that he used to watch her walk across the yard everyday in school and think how gorgeous she was. Now I’ll admit, this was a slightly cringe-worthy statement to make but you have to admire the guy’s courage in saying something like that to someone he barely knew. My sister obviously thought so too as she entertained light conversation with him for a good while. During this conversation, I pointed out that I was 5 years ahead of him in school. Strangely enough, he didn’t seem to have the same recollection of me….

Last Friday night I went out with one of my friends who seems to have the same ‘eternally single’ affliction that I  possess. If I’m honest I’m slightly in awe of this girl. She has impeccable style and she’s not afraid of creating a little shock with her dress sense. She exudes an enormous amount of confidence which I think is part of the reason she is still single. I tend to think men find very confident women overwhelming. If the men are shy they feel intimidated by extreme confidence and if they are loud they are threatened by it.

We went to a gig, where my friend knew a lot of people. Sometimes in situations like this one can tend to feel a little awkward or out of the loop. I don’t generally mind social gatherings of this kind.  The job I have sometimes puts me in a position of meeting quite a lot of new people on a regular basis so I do enjoy meeting strangers.

In this instance, I was pleasantly surprised at the friendliness of the group of people we encountered, they were incredibly nice. When I go out with my single friends, I sometimes feel like I have to meet someone to make my night complete. On this particular occasion I was happy not to. I rolled into a taxi at 3am content in the knowledge that I had a great night out with a nice bunch of people who I had never met before.

Nights like that are what I like about being single. Often I think I wouldn’t have had that same night if I was going out with someone. I love the freedom that comes with being on your own. Obviously there extreme pros and cons with every type of situation one finds themselves in but for now I am happy to label myself foot loose and fancy free. Roll on more of the same.


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