In conclusion….

December 31, 2010

As it’s the end of an interesting year, I think it’s time to look back on some successful and not so successful ‘dating’ encounters. Dating is in inverted commas because a lot of these so called encounters never reached a constant dating stage but were interesting and/or disastrous in their own special way.

There are a few guys I met this year that really stand out in my mind for varying reasons. They  include the guys who were just genuinely lovely, interesting people to the guys that were total odd balls. For the purposes of clarity, I’ll give them each titles and explain a bit about our meetings, dates etc…

The Rebound (by that, I mean I was his…)

This guy I have known for years and years. I knew him through school and randomly met him again through work this year. This was a case of meeting someone after years and knowing you had chemistry with them. Nothing at all happened at first, as I knew he had a girlfriend. However, I met him during the summer at an event and was told himself and the girlfriend were no more. We talked for a long time about this and that. We knew a lot of the same people socially.

After a lot of talking we eventually kissed. I got the feeling I was probably the first girl he kissed since breaking up with his girlfriend, he seemed kind of vulnerable in a really sweet way.  I also got the sense that from kissing me he realized he missed his girlfriend (says a lot about my kissing ability doesn’t it??!!) Ever the gentleman, I received a text to the same effect a few days after our encounter. The Rebound was and is such a nice guy. I actually think if it had of progressed with him I would have found him too nice (yes, I’m one of those girls). But on that one occasion, I really enjoyed his company and I’m glad I was the catalyst to him and his girlfriend sorting things out. They were together a long time and deserved to give it another chance. I really admired his straight forwardness in telling me the way he was feeling after we kissed. Because of this we still remain friends and for that I am very grateful as he is a really genuine guy.

The House Party Disaster:

This guy I met at a house party. I went on the first date with him and instantly thought I was on to a good thing. We had a lot in common (or so it initially seemed) and I really wanted to see him again. With both our jobs, it was difficult to coordinate time to see one another. He worked lots of nights and at the time, I was also working crazy hours on a project. It meant that after our initial date, there was a massive gap before we saw each other again. The next time I met him was at another friends house party. I had invited him along which looking back was not a good idea. From the time he arrived, I became convinced he didn’t fit in.

When I think back, I see that I was really harsh on the guy. He knew no one at the party and he had come to see me. I hate to admit it but I was incredibly rude and spent the night not really paying him any attention at all. I regret that greatly as it was very unnecessary. He is a very intelligent guy so I’m sure he got the vibes straight away. After that night all communication between us ceased.

Obviously Ireland being Ireland, I have since seen him twice randomly, once in Dublin and once in Cork. He blanked me both times, which considering my behavior towards him, is totally acceptable. Sometimes it’s all too easy to discount peoples feelings in a situation because you feel you don’t owe them anything as you don’t know them that well. That’s what I did in this situation, which was really awful. Maybe I’ll tell him that the next time I bump into him randomly.

The Broken One:

This guy was very random altogether. I was out with a group of friends one night and decided to go looking for someone to talk to. I often do this on nights out as I enjoy talking to the odd randomer. On this particular occasion, I saw a guy standing on his own in the smoking area. Me being me went up to him and asked why he was on his own. The conversation then went on for hours. I’m sad to say this was not my finest hour as I was very drunk on this particular night. We talked and talked but the next day I could barely remember anything he told me about himself. However, I did remember his name and that he was quite well known in his industry (apologies, that sounds SO pretentious but it’s important to the story!)

Anyway, I googled him and to my absolute shock and horror the articles I found reported he was married. Now I remember him telling me he was older (about ten years older than me) but I definitely did not remember him telling me he was married! Being honest, I was sure I wouldn’t hear from him again but I did the following week. He asked me out for a drink. At this stage I was intrigued.

Like I said, the night we met I remember little of the conversation so he may well have told me all about his messy divorce etc etc…I decided to meet him, more out of nosiness than anything else. From the get go, he made me feel uneasy. He talked a lot about himself. It didn’t matter if I was running for President next year, he would still have talked about himself. What was sad was that he seemed very lost. He talked a lot about things he achieved in the past, with no mention of what he was doing in the present.

Although he knew little about me, he was very keen on us seeing each other again which made me think he was quite lonely . I was slightly insulted that he just automatically assumed I would want to see him again, not really taking into account the fact the date was not going that well. I can safely say seeing him again was the last thing I wanted to do. Strangely enough this was not because he talked incessantly about himself or that he was really full on. It was because he had this really strange sad eyre about him. I never properly found out about the marriage that night but it would be my assumption that he recently broke up with his wife and wasn’t dealing with it too well. I think he thought I might breath some mild happiness/ respite into the broken atmosphere he was inhabiting at the time. Being honest, I found his attitude quite unnerving and intense.

When he text me to ask me out again, I politely declined. His response was interesting as he did admit he was going through a tough time but told me to contact him if I ever changed my mind. I never did.

The Bewildered One:

This guy’s reputation was recounted to me a number of times even before I had properly met him. He is one of those types that a certain kind of girl will become infatuated with.Maybe it’s the feminist in me, but I hate thinking that men have this swoonish power over women. Perhaps the reason I hate this is because I have found myself in that very situation one too many times.

Anyway I digress, I wanted to meet this apparently irresistible guy to see what the real story was. The first time I met him, I was struck by how seemingly confident he was. I would consider myself a confident and rather talkative person but he definitely didn’t have a problem matching me. He also came across as intelligent and very interested in what he was doing work wise, which are all traits that would score highly on the girlometre scale of likability. We met on several different occasions at various different parties etc…Looking back on these encounters, I would not have said this guy fancied me at all. Yes, he was somewhat chatty but I never once got that pit of your stomach feeling that said this guy is interested. However, apparently he had a change of heart at some point. I have a theory as to how this change of heart came about but for now let’s just say he saw me in a more competitive light.

I can understand how many women would find this guy very intriguing and perhaps I would have been taken in by the same swooning feelings if it weren’t for my interest in someone else at the time. What I found amusing about him was he talked a lot about how bad he was at committing to relationships and how he just didn’t know how/ want to be a part of a relationship. To me, this spoke volumes as to what kind of person he was. In my mind if someone has to justify their behavior constantly you have to question who they are trying to persuade more in the argument, themselves or you.

I noticed this guy played a clever game of story telling. If you tell a lady you’ve never felt strong emotion, or dare I say it, have never been in love with someone by your mid twenties the likelihood is the lady may find you somewhat mysterious. I’m sure the hope is the lady’s internal monologue will run something like ‘how has he never been that involved with someone, perhaps I’ll be the one to change him….’ The lady in question is then doomed to failure as she has fallen hook, line and sinker for this guy who seems very unattainable.

Luckily for me it never got quite to that stage. We shared the odd random liaison and kiss but ultimately I could see that prolonged encounters with this guy would become messy (i.e I could potentially become overly involved with something that never would materialize to anything). We still see each other socially which I’m very glad about as he is very entertaining and charming albeit slightly bewildering.

So there you have it, they are my dating (or non dating) high and low lights of 2010. For the sake of this blog hopefully 2011 will bring more of the same.  Have a wonderful year!

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