The Game

December 1, 2010

A work colleague recently mentioned when her mother gave advice on how to secure a man she told her it was crucial ‘to never act available’. This statement to me is a little odd because surely if you’re single you can’t help but be available? But of course I do understand the niggling sentiment that is veiled behind this rather double sided statement. However I must admit it does make me feel a little uneasy.

Many people who know me would probably tell you I’m a very open person (perhaps even a little too much so). After all, I’m revealing the inner workings of my single life for the 5 or 6 readers of this blog! This openess has always been a trait that I find hard to grapple with. In my mind if I was to be an ideal person, I would love to be more mysterious.  Openess brings with it a serious lack of mystery. This too could be applied to the way in which I approach relationships (or potential ones).

It is my humble opinion that a serious amount of game playing goes on these days between the male and female twenty somethings of this lovely (if a bit financially strapped) society. Maybe the recession is to blame?  Maybe people want to hide from the disastrous reality of their financial lives so they turn to their personal lives for a bit of lighthearted game playing to distract themselves?

For those of you who have not experienced The Game, let me explain. Basically I would describe it as a power struggle, a battle if you will, between two people who may perhaps be interested in one another but not enough to actually commit to anything.  A lot of the time this battle of ‘I’m interested, Im not interested’ can be fun, with lots of second guessing, random interactions and severe flirtation. However, there always comes the breaking point, a point where one of you decides to opt out or someone chooses they want to opt in for something more than just a game. This is the point that the gaming attitude is really put to the test.

This is where the ‘make sure you act unavailable’ comes into play. Apparently, if you’re to be a desirable lady you must act as unavailable and uncaring as possible if the you are to come out on top in The Game (i.e abandon singledom forever and join the sanctum of the attached). Now as I mentioned, my rather open personality tends to render me useless at the coy mysteriousness that seems essential to acting unavailable. At the same time, I still get sucked into The Game on a regular enough basis.

The sad situation of The Game is often it leaves one of the parties feeling more for the other as regards genuine interest. It’s a bit like a game of Snakes and Ladders. Either you both role the dice and hit a ladder and move on up to the next row or you both get gobbled by the snake never to see each other again.

I am in the midst of The Game at the present. Snake or Ladder outcome? I’m undecided.

Mysterious or what…??!!!


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